Chicken II

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

   But come on! The chicken is not an albino!

Aashish Dattani

   It had a bladder problem, but at mid-road it realized things were constipated.

Dr Flea

    The chicken with a soulful heart
    Paused with a silence fraught.
    'Twas waiting for a winged friend
    To emerge from the next bend.
    Here came the awaited footfalls,
    And oh! the ear's hope was false...
    Sight yielded but a perfect stranger,
    As the bird's heart dipped nether.
    And then did it with right wrath fume,
    Stuck breast out, flurried the plume,
    Thrust out foot, and stiffly strode!
    Thus did the chicken cross the road.

Pratyusha

   On this side of the road was Gates, on that side Torvalds.

Mathew

   A road and a chicken struck a partnership to arrange an accident of a car with a briefcase full of cash. The chicken secretly made to run away with all the money without giving the road its cut of the loot. What you saw was just the first half of the chicken's plan to double-cross the road.

Sriram (EP)

   Asin was giving autographs across the road. She's beautiful, no?

Narendranath

 

   Researchers in Reykjavik have finally come out with a decisive answer to the unsettling behaviour of chickens crossing roads frequently between mid-July and late August.
   From the website of University of Iceland:
        || Gallus gallus, or the domestic chicken, has increasingly become a traffic menace all over the world. Two out of every ten[1] bicycle topples are caused by their running into the rider's way. What is the root source of the instinct that drives these bipeds mad as a, well, wet hen? A four-member team of the Zoology Department [2] set out to unravel these mysteries, and their findings bring to light most shocking results. It was discovered that the age-old medical gospel, that chickens had nothing to do with chicken pox, was a sham. As a matter of fact, the seed of the fowl's impulse (to dash across bitumen) is a hybrid of two viruses -- one causes chicken pox, the other chikungunya! Reports of .... ||
    Note:
    [1]  'One out of every five' would do.
    [2]  Its Ornithology Wing (a bit of a pun, eh?), actually. The webmaster prudently so tailored the wordings that it didn't sound like the chicks were stared at by a bunch of bird-watching guys.  

Upcoming post in Chemical Siddharth's blog.

  The aviator desiderated to galvanise tribulatory predicaments in the precinct-abarticulative for a consuetude of chlerdipsylzubonemaphinschgretion.

'Frame' Santhosh

Mutespeak

Santhanam's Laws of Reaction:-
 
Law One
   Every chemical reaction remains under equilibrium or takes place at a uniform rate unless and otherwise an external catalyst acts on it.
Law Two
   The rate of a reaction is directly proportional to the molecular mass of the reactant and its k a value at room temperature.
          R α M
             α ka
          R = S.M.ka,
          where S = Santhanam's constant, of value 3.1415962 x 10^(-23)
Law Three
   Every oxidation has an equal and opposite reduction.
  
                ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  Dreams fail. Take, for instance, Conversations of The Big Deal , a book I dug out from a shelf of archives. Its preface is longer than its inner contents! One of its authors didn't pen one word in it. Another lent twelve. It was the third chronicler that furnished the rest of the volume, from the leaves of which I retrieved a piece of paper my idle hand had, at some distant past point of time, filled with the aboveblogged Laws of Reaction. The Big Deal was a legion of three in pursuit of a common end. Each was sufficiently proficient in one stream apiece to coach the other two on his forte. The association didn't stay intact for long.
  I present here the book in its entirety.

Page Zero

First edition 2004
Final edition 2004

©The Big Deal™®

    This book, or any part of this book, is strictly prohibited from reproduction or republication in paper, microfilm, magnetic discs, etc. without prior written permission from at least one of the authors.

Published by
   POLAR BEAR PUBLICATIONS
   (Penguin Books and ours are poles apart)

Page One

                   Conversations Of The Big Deal
M. NAIR
S. BHATTACHARYYA
K. N. RAJ

                                           PREFACE
   Books have been written never without an idea in the head of the author(s). In this aspect, we are indeed dignified in presenting a book totally out of the genre. For we, the authors, ourselves do not know as yet the contents of this edition. It will be authored in the coming days on its own, with spontaneity, and with no premeditation. Conversations amongst us shall be in the written form, at least during class hours, and thus what should be called an oral expression shall be penned down hotly from our minds.
   We hope our readers will find the book interesting and useless.
   Finally, we thank our teachers for keeping us together in the same classroom, making this book possible.

Authors

S.B.O.A. School and Junior College

Chennai - 600 101

Page Two

25.05.2004.
Somu, here is the bullet train you told me of.

27.05.2004.
At home, you two try with cuboids, cubes, spheres, etc.
(G.L .)
Insulators are WEAK conductors, actually. Sundari miss told Krishnakanth.
English.
Induction.
Check if my H20 bottle is under your feet.
Isn't it capacitance?
Thanx.
Q = q 1 + q2
Q/t = q1/t + q2 /t
I = I1 + I2
Nearly Kirch's Jn. Rule. Nearly.

18.06.04.
Let's not forget this book.
Muthali yest. gave limit sum.
I will give TRS sir's worksheet note.
x¹⁰  -- 10^{x
------------------}
x^x -- 10¹⁰
Assuming the ammeter is ideal.
I want to do only March 2005.

Page Three

28.06.04.
That was exactly what I did.
One suggestion: "Bargainable" instead of "Bargains can be made".
I should have guessed.
Well-spacy-ventilated-hyphenated HOUSE.
Tomorrow I'm going, but I'll be back by half the day.
Good only. Have some fun.

   The letters in the dissimilar font were off the second author's pen. Sentences were not, unlike the above transcript, in the horizontal direction alone.
   Hard copy available.