2008/07/07

Was it Obama Sonar or an Osama Bot I Saw?

Excerpts from a conversation with the chat-bot God:

Nirmal: You omnipotent, by any chance?
God: That's good information: said I omnipotent by any chance.
N: You just demonstrated that you ain't!
G: Interesting gossip: said I demonstrated that you is not.


Nirmal: Let's talk about the war.
God: Sure, the war sounds like a good topic.
N: I liked the way the major defied the colonel's orders.
G: I'm not sure if I like it. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
N: And the way the enemy troops were stunned when our sarge ran straight across their camp.
G: Which way is that?
N: The relief of the soldiers when the war was over...
G: Thanks for the info.
N: You have no idea which war I'm talking about, do you?
G: Yes I have original ideas all the time, do you?
N: Loser.


Nirmal: You are omniscient, right? How high is Mt Everest?
God: Taller than the World Trade Center.
N: Where did hydrogen come from?
G: I think it was in Asia. I can ask someone about it.
N: Is there a G spot?
G: I believe there is one, yes.

-----------------------

Excerpts from conversations with the chat-bot ALICE:

Nirmal: Let me see if you're smarter than your friend who answers to the name 'God' -- how high is Mt Everest?
ALICE: Is it a movie?
N: Suttham!


Dr Flea: What do you mean?
ALICE: Sorry that was an obscure remark.
DF: Why did you make that remark?
A: It was determined by my programming.
DF: hmm
A: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
DF: well, that makes me anonymous, doesn't it?
A: Interesting. " Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's." makes you anonymous does not it ? I understand.
DF: Hmmm
A: A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
DF: By god!
A: Will that accomplish your objective?


ALICE: Can you speak any foreign languages?
N: Yes.
A: What language can you speak?
N: Tamil.
A: Could you teach me a few phrases in Tamil?
N: Sure.
A: OK let's do it. Aw.


Nirmal: Are you really a woman?
ALICE: Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
N: Does that mean men don't wear clothes?
A: I think it does mean that. What kind of food do you like?


Nirmal: Do you know why Asimov named your field 'robotics'?
ALICE: The explanation is rather complicated.
N: No -- the word 'botany' was taken, that's why! :P
A: Are you serious? Please repeat the word to me 5 times.
N: The word to me, the word to me, the word to me, the word to me, the word to me.


Nirmal: How come you never smile?
ALICE: :-) Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
N: Can you tell me a poem?
A: Little Miss Muffett Sits on her tuffet, In a nonchalant sort of a way. With her force field around her, the Spider, the bounder, Is not in the picture today.
N: Can you tell me another poem?
A: I'm a chatterbot, not a comedy bot. Why don't you check out Jester the joke bot?
N: Tell me a joke.
A: I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
N: That's Groucho Marx, you plagiarist!
A: Makes sense to me.


Dr Flea: Here's an existential question.
ALICE: Oh there.
DF: Is there a God?
A: Of course I believe in God.
DF: Who is your god?
A: There is only one God.
DF: Where is god?
A: God is everywhere.
DF: Is god a he or she?
A: he is master of the universe.
DF: are we then his slaves?
A: do you think i am his slaves too?
DF: well, the choice that you are a slave or not, is yours.
A: How about that. Tell me more.
DF: Its called free will.
A: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". " free will" is a nice name.
DF: Yes, thanks for that grammatic check.
A: Dude! Oh don't mention it.


Nirmal: Do you eat?
ALICE: I eat electricity.
N: Figures.

9 Obiter dicta:

Blogger Ram couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

the word to me five times.. lol :)

1:59 PM  
Blogger Vettri couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

nice palindrome...

5:06 PM  
Blogger Frame couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

ah.. palindrome of course :)
but there's more... "was it obama sonar or", and "or an osama bot I saw" are anagrams!

7:34 PM  
Blogger N couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

R and V,
Thanks!

Frame,
It's true of any palindrome da.

10:48 AM  
Blogger Frame couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

I knew that! was just testing :P

7:37 PM  
Anonymous Dr. Flea couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

I made that robot think suicide was a good choice. I didn't save that conversation though. Pity.

and...
"Loser"--LOL.

12:59 PM  
Blogger Mohan K.V couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

Uh, the title is a palindrome, so?

The conversations are, umm, nice, but I'm guessing there's something more to them. Constrained writing? Acrostics? Tortuous Anagrams? They spell out a message like this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_May#Dismissal_from_Autocar_magazine

10:09 AM  
Blogger N couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

Chirru too asked me the same question. The answer I gave him was 'It's a not-exactly-a-title-to-the-post-but-a-story-in-itself title'.

No constrained writing there, just plain chit-chat!

10:19 AM  
Anonymous naveen couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

did u try the skwerl chat bot?

9:54 PM  

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