2007/05/22

Poor Jokes

Local

What did junta say when Mr Goodman was sacked?
   That it was a fitting punishment.
 
Why did Michelangelo refuse to deliver us an EML?
   He was told the lecture was extra-mural.
 
Why did the IIT-ian refuse the top position in the Army?
   It was a Gen job.
 
Why did he decide to take up a job in a Japanese bank?
   'Yen cash are there...'
 
How come he didn't land that job despite slogging diligently and converting all days to work-days?
   He never had proper fun-days.
 
An election in the insti or hostel is a secs-change operation. (courtesy: Nikhil)
 
How is ISM Dhanbad luckier than us?
   All they do is miner courses.
 
What is the difference between a prospective undertaker and a dead-serious Mysorean?
   One will dig a grave, the other is a grave Dig.
 
How is the polar bear better than MS Windows?
    Polar bears continually crash only in winters.
 
How did the Elec prof find complete job-satisfaction by becoming the bartender at Gurunath Nescafe spot?
   Now he could give EVERYBODY a cup.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  
Global

Why did our cricketers apply for membership in other national teams?
   They were bored of control for cricket in India. 

How did Proxima Centauri console its infant neighbour when it didn't clear the filming auditions?
   'Cheer up, my sun. Some day you will be a great star.'

Using cribs during examinations is thirteenth hour preparations.
 
'Veni, vidi, veni'
  -- Drooler at Miss Universe pageant
 
Excerpt from the diary of an underground water-table: 'I am getting bored these days...'

Name one left-handed Indian batman.
   Gotham Gambhir.
 

12 Obiter dicta:

Anonymous durga couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

LOLAX! These are some of your best. :)

11:24 AM  
Anonymous pratyusha couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

lol!! indeed.
jokes apart a senior was really confused when i gave him a coffee mug as a parting gift when he passed out. "pass out ho raha hoon... ab cup kyon?"

3:17 PM  
Blogger unni krishnan couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

Seriously...I am not sure whether it was my lack of knowledge of your lingo that "bulbed" me on many of those poor jokes or my own inane low IQ that helped the poor jokes jump over poor me like the sheep in my dreams.
The polar bear one rolled me over though.

4:16 PM  
Anonymous Nir couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

D,
Thank you!
P,
Well, when someone mugs ('mug' as in the hobby of alley-dwelling thugs in NY) you, you pass out :P
U,
The ones under Local are based on the insti lingo; those under Global are for the uninane.

9:33 AM  
Blogger Vettius Carnaticae couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

Hilarious!! ROFLMAO!!! Superb!! Out of adjectives!!!

5:46 PM  
Blogger Mohan K.V couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

Veni, vidi, Veni! LOL :-)

2:31 AM  
Anonymous Blog-proprietor couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

Mr Wooster,
Not at all, sir. I endeavour to provide satisfacton, sir.
Mohan,
I was a trifle frightened that that particular one-liner just might go ungrasped. Thank you :-)

10:10 AM  
Blogger Sharanya couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

Veni, Vidi Lol! And the secs change .. hahaha..
Good ones, though some went above my head!

10:42 AM  
Anonymous Blog-proprietor couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

S,
Er, did you really get the veni-vidi-veni joke? I hope you didn't. *Grin*

11:08 AM  
Blogger parseval couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

Awesome!

9:44 PM  
Blogger mathew couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

Without a doubt we have found Nai's heir

10:30 PM  
Anonymous Blog-proprietor couldn't resist being opinionated thus:

Pa,
My pleasure.
M,
Nai's heir?
I don't care.
Don't compare.

11:51 AM  

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