May the 4th

 To be sung to tune of The Imperial March.

-------

Make way for Lord of Men, Darth Vader.
Darth Vader -- here he comes, make a bow.
He has scarcely a lower jaw,
But once froze his son-in-law --
You all rather be well-behaved.
Unless you are a mannequin,
You don't call him Anakin,
And then your windpipe may be saved. 

Casting 19th Century Scientists

 

Walls Have Mouths

 Sometimes the universe folds in on itself.

Some time later he sent the mural.

Parse under the yoke

Walruses that foxes tease taunt ostriches in their turn.
Walruses foxes tease taunt ostriches.
Fish that deer tease taunt sheep in their turn.
Fish deer tease taunt sheep.
Berlin fish Tokyo deer tease taunt Cairo sheep.
Berlin fish Tokyo deer tease tease Cairo sheep.
Berlin fish Tokyo deer buffalo buffalo Cairo sheep.
Berlin buffalo Tokyo buffalo buffalo buffalo Cairo buffalo.
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

You're welcome.

Missive to Morpheus

As written a few years back. 

Dear dream-making studio in my brain,

 (a) Yes, I spent 14 years at SBOA. But it's been 14 years since. I no longer need to worry about preparing for XII Std board exams. Every stressful life situation is not some sequel to that dumb event.

  (b) If I make a friend, don't dress them in blue uniform and put them in my class.

  (c) The school never gets so much rain that the football field turns into a giant swimming pool. Be more realistic.

  (d) Floating over the Sports Day parade was amazing! More of these!

   (e) Perhaps not your department, but please tell whoever's responsible that when I reminisce about school they do not have to play morning assembly music in the background.

Yours sincerely,
Upstairs

Neeraj Chopra Cricket Facts

We all know that Usain Bolt was a cricketer first before his coach, noting his manic running on the field, suggested a change of career. Much less known is how Neeraj Chopra took a similar, er, trajectory. Here were the early signs for all to see.

+ As a fielder, he often gave away overthrows, which sometimes went for a six. Once whilst fielding by the ropes someone from the top-most stand threw a water bottle at him. He threw it right back at them.

+ As a bowler, he insisted on everyone calling him the "spearhead" of the attack. He was obsessed with hitting the 90 mark. He often fell down upon releasing the ball. Only once in his career did he bowl a no-ball, not because he overstepped, but because he delivered it from outside the 30-yard circle, violating fielding restrictions.

+ As a batsman, his stance was side-on, he often charged down the track, and just as often let the bat slip and fly over the bowler. Needless to say, he tried to hit every ball for a six. This usually resulted in him getting out first ball, but he liked to say that "if you're out there to make a duck, might as well make it golden."

+ Outside cricket, his favourite dressing-room activity was darts. Favourite video game, Angry Birds. Favourite song, Paper Planes. Favourite movies, American Sniper and Million Dollar Arm. He had a girlfriend, long-distance. He told his coach that his apartment was "literally a stone's throw" from where the coach lived;  they lived two blocks apart.

+ His favourite cricketers were Javed Miandad and Chris Lynn.

+ Once he was made the stand-in captain. At the toss he misunderstood the term and flung the coin out of the stadium.

+ At the end of every match he used to take a stump as souvenir. Even when his team lost. 

Symmatrix

Inspired by the classics

சி   வா ஜி
வா யி  லே
ஜி  லே பி

and 

க ர டி
ர யி ல்
டி ல் லி,

I added these to the Tamil wiktionary -- 

----------

Old out, new in.

ம  ர  பு
ர  த்  து
பு து மை

---------

Reaction on learning about the Hindustani raga "gara".

ஓ! க ரா
க  ம க
ரா க மோ?

---------

Achoo!

தூ சு வே
சு    த் த
வே த னை

----------

A political statement?

ம   னி   த
னி  ல்   லை
த   லை வி

-----------

Prescription to learn Tamil.

ப  ழ  கு
ழ  க  ர
கு  ர லை

Forked Flicks

The missus and I noticed that movie titles in Tamil and English reflect each other. Often in a well-polished mirror --

Azhagi : Pretty Woman,

Mugamoodi : The Mask,

Aaranya Kaandam : Animal Kingdom (both out in 2010),

Minsaara Kanavu : Electric Dreams,

Arangetra Velai : Showtime,

but just as often in one slightly cracked --

Mudhalvan : First Man,

Alaipayudhe : Surf's Up,

Apoorva Raagangal : Looney Tunes,

Irandaam Ulagam : Another Earth,

Iruvar : Duel,

Gouravam : The Prestige,

Moodar Koodam : Idiocracy,

Naan Ee : A Bug's Life,

Vishwaroopam : Avatar,

Kaatru Veliyidai : Up in the Air.

And then in funhouse mirrors --

Thambikku Endha Ooru : O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Kizhakke Pogum Rayil : (Murder on) the Orient Express,

Papanasam : Sin City,

Naduvula Konjam Pakkattha Kaanom : The Notebook,

24 : 42 Up,

Vietnam Veedu : The Fight Club,

Kalyana Samayal Saadham : Eat Pray Love,

Kalki : Rocky,

Kaakaa Muttai : One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. 

(a better pairing would've been Kuyil Muttai : One Flew Over the Crow's Nest).

We also note that Pesum Padam never talks whereas The Silent Movie has a single word of dialogue, and that while The Sixth Sense did precede Ezhaam Arivu, Catch Me If You Can must be a prequel to Unnaal Mudiyum Thambi. Vaayai Moodi Pesavum and Eyes Wide Shut must be a double feature. Kaadhalikka Neramillai and No Time to Die are unified by Bharathi's appeal: "Kaadhal poyin saadhal". 

Double Couple

A shy cry is a meek shriek, and a fast mast is a quick stick. Then again, a rum bum is a queer rear. If to dine fine is to eat neat, then to feign pain is to fake ache. A tight fight is a stiff tiff -- different from a bright fight, which is a flashing clashing. Whereas a wide stride in a straight gait makes a racing pacing, a rose nose can detect a pink stink. 
------

[h/t to Sriram for the title.]